Thoughts

In the midst of rocking, nursing, and playing, raising a baby is a full-time job! Spending time with the Lord looks different these days to say the least. I find myself not being able to journal as much however, I have slowed down and have found more time for reflection. So I have thoughts...and I felt like sharing my thoughts for this month's blog.

Thought #1 - Understanding that sacrifice is a joy and honor

Judah is five months old now and I have loved every moment of being his mom! Even in the most tiring of moments I take a deep breath, reflect and express thankfulness. (Remember from past blogs, thanksgiving is a weapon!) As I thought about everything I sacrificed and the amount of love I have for him, I realized how much it reflected Christ's love for us. I have given so much for Judah - my body, my time, my sleep, my finances...yet I so freely want to sacrifice these things because of the intense love I have for him. I love him so much, these sacrifices are a joy and honor to give. Jesus also sacrificed so much for us out of love. He sacrificed His home in Heaven, His honor, and then His life for us. God sacrificed His son! They gave so much because they were driven by an intense love for us. As I have decided to sacrifice in love, I have grown closer to God as my understanding has deepened.

Thought #2 - Train your mind for your enemy is prowling

One morning while worshipping, I received an image from the Holy Spirit revealing to me the tactics of the adversary. Last summer while in Zambia, there was a lion on the loose! Nothing is more surreal than receiving a message from our team in Zambia warning us of a lion on the loose. The local wildlife authorities were out everyday tracking this lion and spent much time following its tracks. In the mornings, villagers would find the large paw prints pushed into the African sand and the sun rose over the goats that were killed in the night. The lion was never seen but the after effects of its presence was very visible to the community. I felt like the Lord was showing me that just like the lion prowls the villages, so does our enemy prowl around us. Most times we do not see our enemy or foresee its attacks, but what we do see if the aftermath of the attacks. For example, the enemy can speak the lie into our ear that we are not worth anything. We believe it then we decide to act like it by self-sabotaging.

According to Ephesians 6, the enemy is throwing flaming darts at us. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us to, "beware our adversary the devil prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Another day maybe I will post a deeper study on this matter, but to summarize for you, according to scripture I believe the enemy attacks our thoughts. That the battle we are in is to have faith in Christ and in the word of God. The enemy of our faith is disbelief and disbelief ruins a life. Our mind is the battle field. The war happens in private, however the world witnesses the aftermath of that war be it positive or negative.

Luke 22:31-32, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Ephesians 6:13

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

1 Peter 5:9

Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

Thought #3 - Alive for Christ

As you may have read in our newsletter, I had a bit of an accident early May. I was napping with Judah and all I remember is waking up and thinking about putting pillows around Judah while I joined JJ in the kitchen. As I got out of bed I must have slipped on a rug and hit my head on cement which caused a seizure and me not breathing for a minute. I was in and out of consciousness for the day and I remember very little. Actually, I came into right mind as I was ministering to the EMT on the ambulance! Praise God that all my brain scans came back normal and that there were no residual issues! I believe we live in a fallen world and therefore bad things happen, like slipping on a rug. BUT at the end of the day, it is the Lord who has the last word in our life.

Anyways, when the whole event was over, it was a lot to process for JJ and I. For JJ, the minute I was not breathing was a minute he thought he lost me. That moment was the scariest moment of his life. For me, it was just odd. I went through the most physically traumatic event of my life and I do not even remember it. I was thinking of the verse, "to live is Christ, but to die is gain." I cannot tell you I was happy to be alive because it was a little exciting to know for a moment I was so close to being face-to-face with God. At the same time I was thankful to have a life with Judah and JJ while immersed in ministry. So, I honestly didn't know how to process the event...am I happy to be alive? Is that wrong to be happy to be alive? I felt pretty apathetic about the whole event and did not want to talk about it. A week later my friend Caitlyn and I were joking around about the event and she began to share with me everything I said while I was loopy. According to her, a few hours after the initial fall, I was vomiting into a bucket yelling, "I am not dying today! There is a call of God on my life..." (I then began to declare the prophetic words I received in the past about Judah and AMT). I declared I was going to live on the field into my elderly years and the field is where I am going to die. I do not remember any of this, but I was encouraged that I do not need to process the event anymore...it was already processed! In my loopy state, I was full of faith. My physical body may have been broken at the time but my spirit was not. I came out of this entire event more confident than ever that I am not going to die anytime soon. I have a much time left on this earth and I plan to spend them by letting my life be a sacrifice to the Lord, serving Him with everyday, and worshiping him with every breath.

Thought #4 - In the Father's Hands

I was reading John 10 one morning, specifically verses 27-30. "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.” As I was pondering this verse throughout the week, I received imagery about my son that created more depth to this verse. I imagined the heartache I would feel if Judah was kidnapped, stolen from my very covering. My heart would be shattered into pieces and I would lay down my life to get him back. This is the literal position God was in, He lost us, his children. He then laid down his life to have us back. What is the promise now when we accept this sacrifice? We will have eternal life, will never perish, and NO ONE will snatch us from the hands of the Father. I can't help but be in awe of that spiritual protection. I will admit, there have been moments I doubted if He was with me throughout my life. But when we read verses like this, we know NO ONE will snatch us from the hands of the Father. When we are in the Christ, we are at rest in Him!