Finding Satisfaction

"I can't get no satisfaction," Rolling Stones. Before Christ, this seemed to be my drumroll many days.

No matter how hard I tried, it was never enough, I was never satisfied. It was a fight for happiness and joy that was driven by selfish desires consisting of continuous changes in my moral boundaries. I jumped into different waters to see which made me happiest. However, taps ran dry fairly quickly.

After 22 years of life, all the money I earned, people I loved, and accomplishments I earned were not enough to satisfy me. That was the age I stopped "drinking the water of this world" and went for the cup that truly gives eternal life.*

Since then, I have been a full-time missionary. I have seen countless miracles. Yes, miracles. I have witnessed the blind see and the deaf hear. I have prophesied** over many people. I have prayed for dead people to resurrect (still waiting on that one to happen). I did this because the Bible commands us to*** and because I truly believe that Jesus is who He says He is. During the past three years, I have traveled on the Amazon River in Brazil, in the jungles of Cambodia, the Savanna of Zambia, and sailed the Caribbean. In a short time, I have lived a life that I know many wish they could simply taste.

I do not say these things to brag. Actually, I am saying these things to bring you hope. I am a minister with full-faith in Christ, but as all humans, I have my moments of weakness. What makes Christians different from non-christians is not that we do not have difficult moments, but it is how we handle these moments. Lack and trials are solved by intimacy with our God.

Serving God in ministry is incredible but nothing replaces knowing God. In other words, work does not replace relationship. To better explain, Holy Spirit gave me this picture. Imagine being married and living with your spouse. However, you never saw your spouse. You made meals for your spouse, cleaned for your spouse, did laundry for your spouse, but never spoke with your spouse. If this was your marriage, do you actually know your spouse? The answer is no. You would be a worker not a companion.

This is what relationship with God would look like if we never spoke with Him, but simply worked for Him. Relationship with the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit is the only thing powerful enough to satisfy and aid us in weakness. I am reminded of this constantly in struggles. I will be raw with you. This blog is the result of a tough moment. I was talking to the Lord my problems or, "dissatisfactions." I enjoy measuring things statistically so I was even letting Him know percentages. He knows I hate these conversations. I would rather ignore a problem and let it work itself out then let it run my life. But I couldn't help but to stop and cry with Him. In that time I told Him my pain, and I let Him know, "but God, I am 100% satisfied with You." In that moment I felt it...

Peace. Hope.

The same feeling I felt when I first gave my life to Him. I will never be satisfied with the remnants of a fallen and broken world. It is imperfect and it causes me trouble, pain, and suffering. Suffering is inevitable, the New Testament is clear on that. Mourning and pain happens because that is the risk of loving. Doubt happens, that is why faith exists. These emotions that go hand in hand with the human component of our being. However, I will never stop having hope that darkness will be pushed out by light because my source of hope is Jesus Christ. In Him, He satisfies and heals the most broken hearts. He satisfies and fills the most empty of souls. He brings life and joy to the most broken of people.

To be satisfied, we must stop working and engage with Him. Meditate on His truth and goodness. Learn how to fully trust Him. Understand His unconditional love. In that place we find it, true satisfaction.

*John 4

**Speak forth by divine inspiration or foretell events, Acts 2:17

*** Matthew 10:8, Luke 10:9

****Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7, Pslam 94:18

Satisfy by River & Robots

https://youtu.be/2VGvD0kQ6BM

I feel a peace

When I know that You are on my side

Cause there is a longing only You

Can truly Satisfy

Oh Lord you satisfy me

Like nobody else can

Oh Lord you satisfy me

You give me life in abundance

Joy full and complete

Your steadfast love is

so much better than anything I've seen

Oh Lord you satisfy me

Like nobody else can

Oh Lord you satisfy me

In your presence there is fullness of joy

At your right hand are pleasure forevermore

Oh Lord you satisfy me

Like nobody else can

Oh Lord you satisfy me"

You satisfy my Soul by Lauren Hackett

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8nhtOy8UaI

You satisfy my soul

With Your love

You make my heart sing

You lift me on eagles wings

Just when I thought that my heart it would faint

You take the darknest night and turn it to shining light

Just when I thought that the night had won

Hallelujah, You make all things beautiful

Hallelujah, trials and testing prove there's gold

Hallelujah, You turn mourning into joy